Not as light hearted as usual.
I'm feeling weary.
I know it's not about me, but I've taken on a lot of the pain and struggles of a number of my friends lately. Combine that with some unknowns in an already sparse relationship department- expectations and fear of disappointing others (since when did my own relationships have anything to do with OTHER people aside from myself and a partner? Sheesh, I'm more worried about their disappointment than my own at this point)... I'm mostly just a quivering mess of a person.
So I had a little melt down when I got to work today.
I was sent a message before work requesting a change to something, and knowing that I was walking into resistance to that change had me on high alert... then I walked in the door and was met with "you need to fix this" "Has someone [read: when will you] fixed this yet?" "what about this change?" and my favourite "they didn't tell me that so I'm just going to leave it [and thereby set them up for failure]".
So I told them I didn't give a shit.
And then in near tears shared some of the better news I'd been given in the past 24 hours just to put life in perspective.
Strangely I felt a lot better.
I think I need to get that hot tub fixed really soon.
I'm feeling weary.
I know it's not about me, but I've taken on a lot of the pain and struggles of a number of my friends lately. Combine that with some unknowns in an already sparse relationship department- expectations and fear of disappointing others (since when did my own relationships have anything to do with OTHER people aside from myself and a partner? Sheesh, I'm more worried about their disappointment than my own at this point)... I'm mostly just a quivering mess of a person.
So I had a little melt down when I got to work today.
I was sent a message before work requesting a change to something, and knowing that I was walking into resistance to that change had me on high alert... then I walked in the door and was met with "you need to fix this" "Has someone [read: when will you] fixed this yet?" "what about this change?" and my favourite "they didn't tell me that so I'm just going to leave it [and thereby set them up for failure]".
So I told them I didn't give a shit.
And then in near tears shared some of the better news I'd been given in the past 24 hours just to put life in perspective.
Strangely I felt a lot better.
I think I need to get that hot tub fixed really soon.
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