Sunday, April 13, 2014

Romeo and Juliet

Once upon a time, a boyfriend of mine hit a bird with his car and killed it. He send me a text right after it happened. .. back in the days of T9 txting and driving.
I made fun of him.
I'd never killed anything while driving.
Oh... I had fun with that..mocking him, for about an hour.
When a bird dive bombed my car on hwy 2 into port hope and I hit it good and dead.

Spring has finally arrived. Ok, so I read it might snow on tuesday, but we've finally had warm weather and the snow is nearly gone. The birds are in love, everyone and everything is twitterpeted.

I decided to give my car a good cleaning on friday. The dog has managed to cover every inch of the interior of the car in sand and fur from our beach visits, it was about time.

I backed the car in the driveway as usual, opened all the doors and started to vaccum.
While I was vacuuming I realized that my only vacuum joke was about how badly the thing sucked, and tried to come up with some other punny statements knowing how lame that one was... except my vacuum does suck. It doesn't really suck up dirt anymore. It's a crappy vacuum.

I was standing on the driver's side of the car, between the two open doors, wiping something when it happened...

Two of those twitterpeted love birds were soaring around the yard. Squeaking and tweeting and flying like maniacs, they flew thru the gate and
SMACK
flew right into the window inches from my head

And fell to the ground dead and dying.

One dead.
One dying.
Two dead robins.

What was their backup plan if the windows had been open? Fly into the side of my head?

I threw their little bodies in the garbage after considering tossing them to the chickens. I just didn't want to clean up after those little velociraptors after they'd eaten their fill.

Gross.

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