Friday, April 18, 2014

Strummy tummy

A month or two ago our pub switched from karaoke to an open mic night.

"Our pub".
We've been doing this for 3 or 4 years now. Meeting every week for a drink and maybe some apps.
Our pub has changed a few times. The favourite place closed a few years ago and we moved to the dirty place... then we got tired of always having the grumpy waitress... so we moved to our current location. The jail.
Our first 7 months there the place was empty all the time, but since they've added entertaining activities we've seen fluxes in the attendance. 

And now it's open mic.
So much more civilized than karaoke night. The people who get up there have worked hard to get to the point where they feel comfortable enough to share their skills. They aren't up on a drunken dare, and the sound is pretty good.

One of the pubcat jailbirds suggested I get up and play a "Leslie and the Lys" piece, I laughed it off.

It's one thing to host an open mic type event (like for uke jam) and another to enter someone else's space. With uke jam I'm someone else. I play the part of the entertainer, my job is to put others at ease. Same with playing in church, or jamming with friends.... there's no repercussions or expectation, everyone there is there with you. I don't think "repercussions" is the term I want...
An open mic has expectations.
And it's not "my" people.

I was never going to get up and play, I wasnt ready, but I spent the next 45 minutes having a mini panic attack as I went thru all the emotions as if I were prepping to take the mic.

So weird.

Maybe it means when I do go up, I'll have filled my quota of scaredness.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Romeo and Juliet

Once upon a time, a boyfriend of mine hit a bird with his car and killed it. He send me a text right after it happened. .. back in the days of T9 txting and driving.
I made fun of him.
I'd never killed anything while driving.
Oh... I had fun with that..mocking him, for about an hour.
When a bird dive bombed my car on hwy 2 into port hope and I hit it good and dead.

Spring has finally arrived. Ok, so I read it might snow on tuesday, but we've finally had warm weather and the snow is nearly gone. The birds are in love, everyone and everything is twitterpeted.

I decided to give my car a good cleaning on friday. The dog has managed to cover every inch of the interior of the car in sand and fur from our beach visits, it was about time.

I backed the car in the driveway as usual, opened all the doors and started to vaccum.
While I was vacuuming I realized that my only vacuum joke was about how badly the thing sucked, and tried to come up with some other punny statements knowing how lame that one was... except my vacuum does suck. It doesn't really suck up dirt anymore. It's a crappy vacuum.

I was standing on the driver's side of the car, between the two open doors, wiping something when it happened...

Two of those twitterpeted love birds were soaring around the yard. Squeaking and tweeting and flying like maniacs, they flew thru the gate and
flew right into the window inches from my head

And fell to the ground dead and dying.

One dead.
One dying.
Two dead robins.

What was their backup plan if the windows had been open? Fly into the side of my head?

I threw their little bodies in the garbage after considering tossing them to the chickens. I just didn't want to clean up after those little velociraptors after they'd eaten their fill.


Saturday, March 15, 2014


Spent the evening woth a mix of festival and players friends at the Burnham farm... 3rd annual st.patty's gathering. Low key, fun, sober.

I know I'm in love with the people that I'm with and that I'm not spending enough time with them when I go the entire evening without checking my phone or updating something social media wise.

This isn't growing up... this is getting over the interweb connectedness.

Monday, March 03, 2014

Who's in the house?

Carman's music is laughably awesome. 
(Who's in the house? J.C!)

Last night marked the end of our run of Jesus Christ Superstar.  I haven't spoken to another human being since last night... I hate this part... sort of wandering without purpose, the last of the communal energy dissipating, the drying well of physical proximity and touch.

Trying to pretend to be a normal person again.

Not really ready to put the effort into being with people who haven't been down the rabbit hole themselves.

Friday, February 28, 2014


I awoke to a most beautiful sound this morning... a bird chirping outside my window.

Spring has hit me hard... since last week when I saw a patch of grass on a south facing hill, I've pretty much been a bear in heat.

It was a strange little bird song though, kinda chirpy but not... um.. right.

I poked my head out the curtains to discover the neighbour screwing something into the railing of her porch.


Monday, February 17, 2014

the pain

It's still a death trap out there.

Last night we moved into the Capitol Theatre after months of rehearsing at the firehall theatre- Opening night for Northumberland Players' presentation of Jesus Christ Superstar is just 4 days away. While we were there I pointed out a rug that had been taped to the floor in the green room, " a few years ago during Sweeny Todd, one of the girls slipped and broke her elbow during the show... now there are rugs." We chatted about how terrible it would be to have to quit after so much work went into the show.

On the drive home I was talking with another cast member about how the dog was suffering the winter "we're not walking as much, he gets one short walk each day but I'm just so nervous with the ice on the sidewalks". Her neighbour just doesn't walk his dogs all winter and they go insane.

When I got home I got Rueben ready for his evening walk- long line and harness at night, no need for a short leash.

Two doors down from my house I stepped onto the sidewalk and landed firmly on my hip, my wrist taking a jolt. The dog trotted over, sniffed my face and walked away.

Nothing's broken thankfully, my wrist is tender, my hip bruised... my pinky finger is not broken (I thought it was in the moment last night)... and the dog isn't going for any more walks till this show is over.

Saturday, February 08, 2014


I don't know if you ever watch these things... I keep forgetting about them, then I have a bunch to catch up on when I get back around to them.


Friday, February 07, 2014

(A late) Thursday Confessional

This one is so so good.
I nearly posted it last Friday when it happened... then as is the case, things got a little busy and I forgot to take the time to type... Wait, that's not totally true- I started watching "go call the midwife" on Netflix and I stopped doing anything productive.

So, remember that time I bought a car and was so excited?  I'm still excited.

I was feeling a little down, when after having the car for just over a month... the windshield wiper fluid stopped pumping. I filled the darn reservoir thing, I even popped the hood and listened for the pump to turn on when I turned the wiper thingy.

It's obvious that I know a great deal about cars. I know how to pop the hood, I know how to fill the reservoir, and I know that the thing that you turn to make the wipers work is called a "thingy".

The pump wouldn't turn on. The one for the back window would, and I'd watch with glee as the fluid would spray the back window... totally useless though as it's a wet snowy winter here and the FRONT window is what I need to keep clear.

I spent a week throwing snow on the windshield every time I stopped (so it would melt and I could clear the window), then I just got in the habit of pulling over at every service centre and wiping the window at the pump. I even drove to the city with Manda and Jen for our vacation... and pulled into random service centres along the way.

I bit the bullet and decided that I was going to take the car in last Friday to get looked at. I had a few errands to run with a friend first, one of which was a fill up at the pumps...  Friend asks me what my milage is like in town... and I realize I've only kept track when I've gone on the highway, so I reach over to reset the trip ticker... and knock the windshield wiper thingy with my arm... setting off the wipers in a full glory show of wiper spray and clean windows...

In this new car, I'm suppose to pull the thingy, not turn it.

So when I first got the car I knew how to work it... and then forgot after a month... and then spent FOUR WEEKS not knowing how to operate my car and being too slow to get it looked at.

Have I mentioned the manual is in french?

Thursday, February 06, 2014


Dear self,
As entertaining as it is, you've got to sign off the dating site now. We are heading into Saint Valentine's day celebrations and things are about to get all crazy pants on the interwebs. The strangest of the strange are lonely...lonelier than you will ever be. Let's back away now... before someone pulls out a gun or before you agree to flash your boobies at a stranger.

Saturday, February 01, 2014

And I'm not even taking larium!

Last night I dreamed that I had twin babies... easiest delivery resulting in a boy and a girl.
The unfortunate part? The girl was so tiny that I misplaced her in the first 2 hours, and the boy was the size of a 3 year old... with tattoos. Breastfeeding was difficult... considering the girl was actually a moth (I found her a few days later dried up behind the garbage can) and the boy just really wanted to go play.

I think I may have suffered from some sort of post-partum problems... I left them and walked to the grocery store for the afternoon.